It is no secret to my friends or my acquaintance or my rabbit or my father’s brother’s second cousin’s former room mate that I despise Justin Beiber. Am I jealous? No. I am a stable bass singer that can hold my own with most styles. I hang around plenty of women, and do not need to feel validated by the idea of them throwing themselves at me. Am I a conformist? Hell no. I make my own video games, play the violin and do ballroom dancing. No, the reason I despise Justin Beiber is because he is a conformist. Yes, you heard me. I would even go so far to say that he has brought conformity to new lows. Confused? Let me explain…
CANADA’S PUNISHMENT TO THE U.S. FOR MILEY CYRUS. – Sanchez-Lawson
I don’t bear grudges. I hate very few people, and frankly show disdain only to a subset of people that seem to look upon intelligence as a new form of leprosy. I’m sure that I would quite like Justin Beiber if I met him, and I wouldn’t mind being around him. I hold no ill will for him as a person. But his music is TERRIBLE. No joke, it is truly awful. If I wanted things drilled into my brain, I’d go find a DRILL. His song “Baby” comprises of a chorus repeated continuously with the words “Bey-bee, bey-bee, bey-bee, oooooooh.” and NOTHING ELSE. I’m sorry, but this is the quality of songwriting I was creating at the age of eight. If I knew that this was going to get me millions of dollars and national populations of females throwing themselves at me, then I would have released an album years ago.
Not enough proof? “One Time.” Not only the greatest lie since George Bush explained that he answers to the power of Jesus Christ, it is yet another example of sloppy songwriting. He tells us “One Time” …. 34 f***ing times! Dismal music, really.
Look only so far as the fabulous musicians that Canada has produced – Barenaked Ladies, Fallout Boy, etc. – and Justin Beiber is nothing more than a mouse going up against a rabid, man-eating, mouse-stomping African elephant. These other brilliant people continue to push the envelope, challenging themselves and making brilliant music in the process, refusing to conform to this repetitive rnb schlock that somehow sells nowadays. What is it that appeals to these people? The synthesized basic rock beats? The constantly repeated phrases and words that press on your mind all day like a malignant tumor? The augmented voices used to mask the own singer’s shortcomings? It seems to me that Justin Beiber has just coasted along on his baby-face good looks, and needs to actually back this up with songs that can show off his vocal ability, if he even has any under the auto-tuning and barely-sang notes, instead of him dancing around in baggy pants, a cap and his arms draped over one or more women.
Filed under: Rants
