Okay, Part Two! Let’s get stuck right in.
- COMPANIONS: Well then, a point that seems to come up all too often in the badassery competition is the fact that Master Chief supposedly defeated the entire Covenant armada “single-handedly”. Now, buddies, if you look just over MC’s shoulder, you might just see a blue female AI and a traitorous Elite. Oh, and just a little beyond that, there is the teeny tiny matter of a WORLDWIDE ARMY. Now, tell me, dear reader, in what sane universe is this single-handedly? Now let’s see, what can Sephiroth do single-handedly? Well, among other things, he can CAUSE A FRACKING SUPERNOVA. Now, as we’ve already established that a blow to the face can get through Spartan Armour, do you think that maybe there’s a small chance that AN EXPLODING STAR will get through? Yeah, maybe.
- THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
Okay, this is the final showdown. The ultimate decision. Each combatant is at the full power described in-game and in all liscenced spin-offs thereupon. They are bound by the constraints and perks of their own universes, and it is purely mano-a-mano. They have all the resources required to use every one of their powers without providing them with allies. Ergo, Sephiroth may not summon the Weapons, Master Chief cannot use augmentations for AIs or a comm tower to get reinforcements to come in, etc. Here we go.
MC: Master Chief has enhanced speed.
S: Sephiroth is faster than a bullet. He can also stop time – speed anulled.
MC: Master Chief has enhanced strength.
S: Yeah. A guy that can hold a seven-foot sword in one hand without being thrown off-balance has got to be pretty strong.
MC: Master Chief has enhanced…
S: Look, let’s just shut up about the “enhanced” point. Master Chief was genetically enhanced by man-made methods from when he was a child. Sephiroth was genetically enhanced with the life force of the FREAKING PLANET. BEFORE HE WAS EVEN BORN. Advantage: Sephiroth.
MC: Warthog.
S: Wow. So you don’t think that a sword that can cut through SKYSCRAPERS can cut through a 4WD? Note that this applies to ALL vehicles (perhaps Wraith-on-a-Scarab will require a tad more cutting, but supernovas and meteors and even teleporting on board and killing the pilots seem to wrok pretty well.), including a Hornet, seeing as Sephiroth can fly.
MC: Rocket Launcher.
S: He can stop time. Anulled, as with any weapon.
MC: Halo Rings.
S: Teleport to controller. Stab. Dead.
MC: Well, with that seven-foot sword, Sephiroth’s certainly compensating for something.
S: (Note, dear reader, this is when the f0r-Master Chief debater gets desperate. All cogent arguments are thrown out the window.) Well, with that Spartan Laser and two helmets (okay, I’m being silly here with the two helmets thing.), Master Chief’s certainly compensating for something too, if we’re discussing overcompensation due to large weapons.
MC: Well, Sephiroth’s a mama’s boy.
S: So? It’s his motive. And at least it’s a good motive – a boy wanting his mother and the ability to tear the world apart to save her is both very saddening and creepy. That’s a nice “duty” motive there, Master Chief.
And there you have it. There will almost be a few comments from both sides of the arguments, and I’d love to see the geeky convos that will ensue. So feel free to comment – I’m completely open to discussion. DISCUSSION, mind. Not “oh sephirots a mamas boy u r such a spazz master chiefs so much mor badass coz he kils all them aleins.”
In my humble opinion this article sounds like it was written from a very bias point of view. You do not come up with any arguments for the Master Chief.
I pose you this one question. Where did you come up with the idea for such an article? What exactly was your inspiration.
Josepi Guarivani
Well, my crazy-ass friend continuously argues on this conversation, and these are the arguments that he brings up all too often. If you would like to present some arguments for Master Chief, be my guest. I’d love to hear them