It cannot be denied. Sephiroth is a badass. Master Chief is a badass. They’re both freaking badasses. They are the badasses that endure when all other badasses are forgotten by the test of time. But one question that fans of each have asked so many times: Who would win? Well, I am here to clear that up once and for all. It’s Sephiroth. Silence, fanboys and girls. So Seph’s a mama’s boy? Well, he’s THE ultimate mama’s boy. Go ahead. Say it to his face. Say that he’s a mama’s boy to his face. I’ll wait.
Now, if you are still reading this, that means you have been sensible. Those people were dead before they even opened their mouths. Now that those idiots are gone, let me explain the logic behind this. I will look at Master Chief’s strengths and achievements, you know, the ones that ALWAYS seem to pop up in debates such as this, and then I will explain how Sephiroth counteracts each and every achievement.
- SPARTAN ARMOUR: So Master Chief supposedly has this state-of-the-art armour with energy shielding. Able to withstand almost anything. So why in God’s name is a solid punch to the face enough to get through this god-like armour and shielding? Through this logic, if a solid punch to the head is enough, surely a sword that cuts through damned BUILDINGS is more than enough to get through and slice MC in half like a Spartan club sandwich.
- INVINCIBILITY: Now, Master Chief is supposedly so BA that he simply cannot die, he is just so lucky and strong. May I remind you that Seph has come back from the dead TWICE already, and if his final line from Advent Children is anything to go by (“I will never be a memory.”), he’s not going to stay dead. Seph just simply cannot stay dead. So no going on about the fact that Master Chief can’t die. Sephiroth’s just as invincible.
GODHOOD: Like Chuck Norris, Master Chief has ascended to godhood in the minds of his fans. In-game, there is no mention of this fact. He’s just got enough jam to fill a barrel (take your mind out of the gutter). However, Sephiroth almost ascended to godhood in the original FFVII, and in AC, had “ascended to a higher plane of existence”, in the words of his creator.
To be continued…
